Gratitude

 

 photo Britta Hügel 

I wish all of you a Happy 4th Advent! 

This year was very, very different - for all of us -  from what we had expected. 

And I feel for all people who have lost a loved one, or lost their job or have fear to lose it. 

But I get a bit bugged by those ones around me who bath in lamentation, wallow in bad news while sitting on a sofa, whining about to have to wear a face mask or not to be able to visit a cinema. 

"As we get older, we (...) learn to focus on what's not right, what is lacking, missing, inadequate, and painful." writes M.J.Ryan 

This year maybe we had to learn to be less critical, to appreciate unexpected kindness, smiles under a mask and friends who thought of us. Not to rush around like mad - we had no chance to jet just for a weekend to Venice - for 14 Euro! - and jam the streets and canals there, and disturb the inhabitants with the rattatatatt of trolley bags. 

Don't get me wrong: I love to travel. I love to walk through my city, 

But if it is necessary - and in Berlin we have a strict lockdown, though not as heavy as now in London - I nevertheless can find something beautiful in my day - and be thankful for it. (Look: the geraniums on my balcony are still flowering - in the midst of December! A red squirrel runs over my balcony lattice, here, on the second floor!) 

As a topping I douse this with a little sweet sauce of Ralph Waldo Emerson: 

"The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common." 

EXPRESS your Gratitude

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that you are happier when you feel grateful. 
I found out that I feel even happier when I express my gratitude. 
It is so easy to overlook the many incidents one can be grateful for - sometimes on a single day I feel that I get more 'presents' without a special occasion than I got as a child on a birthday! 
We all have a lot to do - so we might overlook the things we can be grateful for. 
- That's why I have a diary into which I write almost every day at least five things that made me happy and thankful - you will have read about doing that in many books on Happiness. Just try to do it!  
- And I invented for myself a sketch-book into which I draw one of those lucky reminders. It is not important whether I draw them artistical or not - it is the time I spend really looking at a thing. It is so easy to grab an item one got as a 'gift' - and then, like an overeater, swallow greedily the next. 
When I draw the lines of a cup of coffee, or a blossom of a magnolia, I look intensely, and thus value what is before me more than by just mumbling: "Oh, great, thank you - what next?" 
By the way: Only a few people know the Art of Saying Thank You. I remember those young people who did after advising - by e-mail, letter, telephone-call - better than those who intended to, but forgot. And though I work for all of them correctly, as I remember those others who said 'Thank you!" better I might sometimes find an extra for them weeks later. 
So: if your professor took the time to read your paper very carefully/ or your dentist gave you quickly an appointment/ or your haircutter did a special job - though they all get paid for it, it doesn't harm to acknowledge your gratitude by saying 'Thank you' (when you mean it).