I needed solitude, to say good-bye to my very, very dear friend.
She takes a huge part of our life with her.
I thank her for all the time we spent together: from our very first day when we met as freshmen we shared our highly exciting time as students, supported us when love or life became difficult, shared in our joy that we got from our children and our careers.
More than 55 years of shared thoughts, opinions and emotions.
Travelling together a lot we enjoyed incredible adventures:
during our week as "Bed and Breakfast for Garden-Lovers", or another time listening to the sermon of the Bishop of St. Paul's Cathedral which he gave to us members of the E.F.Benson society, followed by a gorgeous dinner in the Guildhall (London).
After she did her Ph.D with 67 years (!) I surprised her with a stay in the carriage house of "Downton Abbey". Another time we followed the footsteps of Lord Peter Wimsey and Inspector Morse in Oxford, another time we enjoyed the centenary of the Chelsea Flower Show, or were "Puttin' on the Ritz" - just to name a few.
Energy, empathy, joie de vivre, and so much laughing:
I thank you for all that, my dear friend,
I miss you.
You were friends for a longer time than many marriages last. Savour your memories of your departed friend.
ReplyDeleteDear Andrew, thank you, I do. It was the sudden and somehow unexpected death - and the wide gap between loss in reality and what I had expected.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I go to a funeral, I yell to the heavens "why bother putting all that effort into raising a child and loving them as an adult... If death is inevitable". It seems endlessly cruel.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, 76 years on earth would be totally lonely if we didn't have beloved friends and family.
Do you have some good photos of your special events together?
Dear Helen, I am so unused to death - till now I was only on four funerals: my grandmother's, my parents and the father of my Dutch partner. I was solaced by Anne's very beautiful funeral - she planned every item herself.
DeleteMy heart goes out to you dear Britta. Losing such a long time, wonderful friend is hard. Thankfully you have beautiful, special memories of your years with Anne. May she rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteTake good care of you.
Mary X
Thank you, dear Mary. Yes, I have to look after myself: first time since years I got sick - but feeling better now. Britta X
DeleteWhat a lovely tribute to a longtime friend, all the shared interests and a great life. I agree that if there are any pictures, they would be so good to see.
ReplyDeleteDear Boud, thank you!
DeleteThere are few friendships that survive so many years. You both have earned such a good thing. I can understand your pain.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Yael. It was a bad surprise when she got sick.
DeleteSo hard to understand or believe we are here, and then not.
ReplyDeleteTrue, Tasker - we had so much contact though we didn't live in the same city. I am so glad that I have good contact with her 4 daughters.
DeleteA friendship as precious as fine gems, pure gold. You will remember her forever.
ReplyDeleteYes, I will, dear Joanne. What I also will miss is a "corrective" of my memories - as she shared our experiences it was so valuable to listen to her interpretations.
DeleteThank you, Emma. I have memories (I write diary), photos and to big folders of letters.
ReplyDeleteFriendships like that are rare I think.
ReplyDeleteYes, and I miss her.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful tribute to a very long friendship Britta - it is really difficult when you loose someone who has been so close to you and to whom you have shared so many memorable moments and experiences throughout your much of your life.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rosemary. One of our shared interests was gardening, and then England. We both studied Anglistics and Americanist, she added Romance philology, I German philology. That was one huge bond for our friendship - beside that we adored each other, and gave us impulses.
DeleteEnglish people very often asked us whether we were sisters, as we noticeable looked alike.
You have been so eloquent in your heartfelt tribute to your lovely friend that I feel for you and your loss, dear Britta. You and Anne shared so much, the ups, the downs and the joy of common interests, you must surely feel richer and blessed for having had her in your life for such a long time. As was Anne to have had you as her constant friend. Be well, dear friend. x
ReplyDeleteDear Pip, thank you so much! I slowly come to accept it - though it was something I never had anticipated - it is naive, I know - but in my mind people just don't vanish like that.
ReplyDeleteWell, I was wrong - but I am convinced that someone is there as long as we think of them. And that I do.
Thank you for the actionable insights that I can apply to my life.
ReplyDelete