On Tuesday, November 1st, in Bavaria we had a feast day - "Allerheiligen" = All Saints' Day".
In Germany each state can decide whether you have a feast day or have to go to work. When I lived in Mainz, utterly Catholic, I had 5 more free days on which I had not to work - in the same job, same federal employer, same salary - than in Hamburg, utterly protestant.
The Flying Dutchman is perplexed by the fact that Church still has very much influence in Germany - in the Netherlands not even Sunday is a day of rest: on Sunday you can go and shop. Honestly: I am glad that Sunday gives us a pause in many regards.
Wednesday, November 2nd, Mexico celebrates "Dia de Muertos" - but that hasn't any influence on me.
These gloomy days might look like an explanation why I ordered a book via Amazon: "A Year to Live" by Stephen Levine.
But no - I wasn't morbid or depressed - our October and the begin of November was full of sunshine, high temperatures and beautiful colours. And I am fit and feel fine (better knock on wood!)
Thus I surprised myself (I am glad I can still do that!) by ordering that book.
Surprised - because if you know me you would know that I shun themes concerning death as much as the devil shuns the holy water, as a saying in Germany goes.
I do not like cemeteries nor funerals.
So - why interest in that book? And why did I sent it back so quickly?
Well, it was so different from what I expected - more on the esoteric instead of the philosophic side, too much of the "mindfulness"-direction.
Yet I do love the title.
I started to think on my own, without that book. To think that all you have for living is one year - 365 days - that is fascinating. (And maybe quite realistic - knock, knock, knock) What would I do in this year? What is important to me? Who is important to me? How not to waste time with bores, unnecessary chores, pointless anger - but bathing in love, meaning, and beauty, in sunshine? What would I like to clear/heal as long as I still am able?
And: what will I have to do to leave no chaos behind me?
In Berlin I have a fantastic little book:
"Dostadning: The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning" by Margareta Magnusson.
As you see: I will stay true to myself. My son would say - smiling a bit patronisingy: "Typical Mama - "How To"-Books till the end!" :-)
For some reason I have used this "art" all my life, and probably not too gently, if my children are believed. I was far less likely to hold onto my own possessions than my ancestors, especially when I saw their EBay value. I have enjoyed disposing of treasures and stories, too. My older daughter has come round, especially now she has her mother-in-law's collection of glass to research and dispose of.
ReplyDeleteI love order too, Joanne, but my problem are books. I am too lazy to sell them via Ebay. And though I love to stroll over a flea market, I never sold there anything.
DeleteWhat I like is your suggestion to give things away while being "here" - my Grandmother called it "to give with warm hands" - and she did. The smaller flat in Bavaria forces me to think well before getting a new thing - though it is good to receive beautiful "seconds" or doubles - in Berlin a lot of things can hide on 183 square metres - with those I will have to deal with.
I like "how to" books as well. I also like hearing about what other people think on any given topic; including living and dying and everything in between. I might not embrace or agree with everything said. I can agree to disagree or debate if others are open to this. My philosophy: live one day at a time and live life to the fullest. Plans are good and I have a rough outline/plan but revise it as changes come (and we all know change is the one constant that can be relied upon). Also, expect the unexpected and you will not go wrong.
ReplyDeleteSame as you, Susan! And I am convinced that some of my "How to"-books were worth more than the money I paid for them - they acted as valuable friends in a crisis: always there, absolutely discreet, and often with little wisdoms that gave me courage, made me smile, think hard, and - very seldom, but it happened: made me change something.
DeleteI do planning too - but am flexible. Without a structure I would feel uneasy - but I can adapt.
I like biographies. Civil War and Revolutionary War periods are really my favorites.
ReplyDeleteBiographies are a category I became interested in very late in life, Mimmylynn - but now I learn a lot out of them, and often am surprised, and often I am touched.
DeleteYour son might well have said Typical Mama, reading how-to books till the end. Even if he would have been correct, I too find it a bit patronising.
ReplyDeleteOnce I retired from work, I had 2000 books to sell or give away so I asked my sons to go through the library first and take what they wanted. 10 minutes later, they came back downstairs with a patronising smirk on each face, saying "thank you, but no thank you, mum".
Dear Helen - my problem are masses of books too.
DeleteBeside the German books I have piles and heaps of English and American books - guests from these countries were really impressed by their vast field.
And I have read them - for example all four volumes of "Pamela Or, Virtue Rewarded", which I will keep because of their beautiful old covers. But many of my books I gave (as a gift) to the Freie Universität Berlin or (no money) to a trader on a Berlin flea market - I said to myself: I doubt whether I will read Bunyan's "Pilgrims Progress" a second time - and IF, I can buy it again.
And: many of the Everyman's Library volumes of my time as a student are written in a very tiny font - I have excellent eyeside - and want to keep it! :-)
What son - he reads lots of the classic canon - is not interested in are books that touch the esoteric/psychological side - but: if I like them, I'll keep them.
And that is my new principle for choosing which goes and which remains with me: only - only! - whether I like them or not - it is not necessary to impress anybody with them.
Britta,
Deletemy principle for choosing which books to keep and which to give away is as follows: If you haven't used the book in 25 years, it goes :)
Then, dear Helen, the time for Mr. Bunyan might have run out :-)
DeleteIf it is a 'How To' book you had better give it to your son!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, Tom - YES!!! That is the best advice ever - I use the last years (knock, knock, knock again) and hopefully have a lot of fun - and he can do the Gentle Art of Cleaning Up my belongings. Hahaha.
DeleteFeel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers was an important book for me many many years ago. I still refer to it occasionally even now. Your post reminded me of my class this week on Epicurus whose philosophy was to live simply and experience freedom from fear and pain by living a life of modest pleasure.
ReplyDeleteDear Rachel, I love that little book too, and have read it more than twice and think the title alone is a wonderful push to jump!
ReplyDeleteI will read your blogpost tomorrow when I have recovered of a very physically trying week here in Bavaria - the triplets are wonderful, but: three (!) three-year-olds who are very different individuals, but all in the so called phase of defiant - that makes me flop on the sofa in the evening - can just read a "light" book or watch TV, preferable humorous.. But Weekends are for recovering :-) - thus I will read your post tomorrow with interest and joy! xxx
I, too, avoid anything like that Britta ....... I just want things that make me laugh and smile nowadays !!! But, maybe I should give it a read along with the one Rachel mentioned ! XXXX
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe NOT, dear Jackie! I have the impression that we both are quite in love-with-life, and that keeps us going :-)
DeleteThe people who laugh - young or young at heart - are the company I enjoy being with - so: maybe I follow Tom's advice (but add a few drops of rationality for things that have to be done - testament and so on - and then dance on). XXXX
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